Getting settled back in the nest

It has been really busy since I got home besides I'm still trying to adjust to the time zone change.  Doing a 2 hour time change didn't used to bother me back when I was working and going between Sacramento and Oklahoma City every week. Maybe it's that I've had a several birthdays since then.. The first night I was home, I went to bed at 8 - it would have been earlier but I was waiting for it to get dark outside.  Last night I made it to 8:30.  If I can make it to 9 tonight then I will be back on schedule. Can't imagine what it will be like when I go back to the east coast this fall and have a 3 hour time change.....
It was good to get back to the support group today.  A lady was there who just lost her husband earlier this month and I can so relate to what she is going through.  He was only sick for 2 months with lung cancer. It always makes me realize how far I have come since Larry passed away in dealing with the grief, etc when I listen to someone who has recently lost their spouse.
I DO NOT like having to deal with all the house issues that Larry used to take care of. We had a leak in the office last September and then Larry got sick before we got someone out to work on the roof so I have had to take care of that before the monsoons start.  It's the only time I'm glad we don't get a lot of rain. Spent the morning out in the yard doing weeks, etc. Then I went to hose off the patio.. I turned the faucet on and there were leaks everywhere in the hose so had to go get a new hose. Even the spray nozzle had leaks. Then I go to roll the new hose up onto the hose card and the handle broke. Grrrrrrrr. I'll get a new one of those tomorrow.
All and all, I can see that Morris are doing better and are adjusting to our "new normal" but are still taking it One Day At A Time.

Home Sweet Home

I could hear Morris meowing as soon as I pulled into the garage this morning and turned the car engine off. He knows the sound of the garage door opener and was waiting just inside the kitchen door for me. Since then, he has been in the same room with me and usually within 2 ft of me. If I was in the office and went to the kitchen for something, he was loping right along behind me. If I went to the bathroom, he followed me. If I was at my desk, he was laying on the desk. After I unpacked, gave him tuna plus seconds, fed the hummingbirds, etc and finally set down in the recliner to rest, he was immediately on my lap which is the picture at right. Yep, I think he missed me! 8-)
Flights were on time today coming home but it still seemed like a long trip mainly because I was so tired and both flights were completely full. Kansas City desperately needs to remodel their airport! It is old, long before 911 which means that going through security there is not fun... Long, long lines and then once you get through security, there are no restaurants, 1 Starbucks and a 2 stall restroom.
So now I settle back into life here and take it One Day At a Time..

Reflections on the trip

The picture is of an Iris flower in my niece's yard.
I'm currently at a hotel near the Kansas City airport where I have a really early flight in the morning to go home. It has been a really good trip although at times it was very emotional.  Larry's picture is setting on the desk watching me as I write this.  I have a small framed picture of him that I take with me when I travel and set it out in the room. Sometimes we just look at each other and sometimes we have a one-sided conversation. I remember Father Bill talking about "Larry's spirit always being with us" at Larry's Celebration of Life and I'm starting to get it....  I feel him with me all the time.  However, when I'm in places where we have been together, it's almost as though his ghost is there. There is a difference..  I'm assuming as time goes on, the ghost will fade away and it will mostly be the spirit although I'm sure that at times I will feel his ghost. I define "ghost" as turning around and expecting him to be there since we have been there before and that is what happened. When I'm at places we didn't go to together, such as Branson, then it's just the spirit that is with me.  I know,,,,,kinda deep..... The trip has been good for me and I really enjoyed the time with my family. It also reminded me why Larry and I were so close to moving to Little Rock. However, for now, I'm looking forward to getting home to my nest and my furry friend while we take it One Day At A Time... 

Found.......Long-Lost-Cousin

Back in January, I went into Ancestry.com for the first time in several months. I saw that a new public family tree had been posted that included my mother's family. I checked it out and sent an email to the person who posted the tree not knowing who it was or if the person would respond. I quickly got an email back and found out it was the son of my mother's brother.  The last time I remember seeing my cousin was when we were about 10 years old.  He is 2 years younger than me.  Since then we have emailed and shared files. He lives about 35 miles from Branson, over in Arkansas so we planned to get together while I was in Branson. It is ironic that Larry and I spent 2 months in Arkansas and didn't know he was there. So....this afternoon he and his wife met Vivian and I at a restaurant in Harrison, AR.  It was great to reconnect, catch up on family history and share information.  

Dogwood Canyon Nature Park

People back here who heard we were going down to Branson would always say "You have to go to Dogwood Canyon while you are there".  So we did today and it was amazing. I had reserved a jeep tour for us which was just plain wonderful. We not only saw all the stuff they do on the tram tour but we also went places the tram can't go such as crossing deeper streams, along some logging roads, etc. Our driver/tour guide was great and really knew the area. Anytime we wanted to stop to take pictures he would stop. Here is a sampling of the pictures I took.

 Straight across the water are Indian Burial Caves. Human bones that were found in the cave have been carbon dated back to 200-400 AD.

 This is a stream that we crossed in the jeep.

 All the streams in the Canyon are stocked with Rainbow Trout.  However, these are in a pool and area very spoiled by the tours that come through and feed them several times a day.  These are trout, weighing about 10 lbs, right after our guide threw some food in for them.

 For the elk and buffalo, the driver brought food and put it on the road.  The elk came to the jeep as soon as they saw us, even before he feed them. After feeding them, Tony would position the jeep so we could get good pictures.

Love this guy! A long-horn steer that could have cared less that we were there.  

 Part of the buffalo herd.  The male in the group weight about 1700 lbs.

A covered bridge built by an Amish community back in 1991.  It was all built by hand.  The beams were put in place using a block & tackle. The 12 x 12 beams are from the old Union Station in Chicago. 

Long day....

It was a long day today....We did a 2 hr train ride on the Branson Scenic Railway in the morning. It was kinda boring since we expected  more than just riding through trees. Yes, we went through a couple of tunnels and over a couple of trestles but mostly it was in a tunnel of trees.  Then we went to Silver Dollar City which wasn't on the original list of things to do. This picture is a waterfall at Silver Dollar City. The last time I was there was on our 8th grade school trip which was many, many years ago - long before it became popular and back then it didn't remotely resemble what it is today. The flowers were beautiful and it was interesting to look at the old log cabins, etc. I haven't seen a chicken house with live chickens like my mom had in many years.  Driving back into Branson this evening we hit the infamous traffic on the main street (Hwy 76) .  This main road is 2 lanes with a center lane for turning.  There were thousands of people going to shows and most of the theaters are on the main street thus traffic was creep and very slow for MILES. There was a line of cars as far as we could see and the usual speed was about 3-5 MPH. Unbelievable!!!!! Oh yes, it was 43 degrees when we left the hotel at 9 am this morning.  They jacket I bought yesterday was greatly appreciated.... However, it warmed up to the mid 60's this afternoon and was perfect weather.

8-)

Missouri Winery

First of all, it is colder here in Branson that what the weather forecast was.  Today it was rainy in the morning, cloudy & windy the rest of the day and it is supposed to be down to 35 tonight. According to the locals, it is called a "blackberry winter". They say that after there is a spell of warm weather and the blackberry vines bloom, there comes a period of cold weather and sometimes frost. Anyway, I had to go buy a light jacket and some long sleeved t-shirts today. We have outdoor activities planned the next 2 days where today, we were mostly in the car or in buildings.

We stopped at the Stone Hill Winery today while we were out-and-about.  I never expected to do a wine tasting in southern Missouri!  It was pretty good wine and has won a lot of awards - even some international awards. We did the tour and wine tasting which was fun since it was my niece's birthday. The vineyard is up by St Louis as is the main bottling plant.  However, they do some bottling of the sparkling wines here in Branson.  This guy, who was really funny, was our guide for the bottling part of the tour. I was surprised at how many wines we tasted in the tasting room.  They only poured a little bit in the bottom of the glass each time but we tasted around 12 different wines which added up to a lot of wine. Their cream sherry has brandy added to it and is 19% alcohol.. 8-) It was a fun, unexpected event.

Greetings from Branson

Branson! Hilly, lots and lots of real trees, theaters on every corner and in between, lots of senior seniors plus a lot of tornado damage from the storm back on Feb 29th. This is a sample of a hotel that was severly damaged plus the broken trees. It was interesting to see one building that had a lot of damage and the building next to it is fine. A marque out in front of a theater is a twisted piece of steel and the theater only about 40 ft away is untouched. It's pretty amazing to see it in person. A lot of the theaters and restaurants are still closed due to the tornado damage.

The pine tree at left, had most of it's branches stripped and there is still cloth and paper up in the trees.  Interesting!

Better day....

Today was a much better today - thank goodness!  We went shopping and let's face it, shopping always helps things seem better.  It always amazes me at how merchandise is so different in various parts of the country.  We went to Pennys today and there were a lot of clothing I have never seen at the Tucson Penny's. I saved a little room in the suitcase when I packed to come back here so have some room for purchases. I'm sure I will pick up some more things in Branson.. 8-)

Here is last night's dinner(the cornbread is under the ham & beans) and there is not a single thing healthy about it but it sure was good! Leftovers tonight....  We got a few more recipes done today plus some pictures last night as she was fixing dinner. I think it will be a fun project to take on.  "60 Years of Cooking" is the working title. It brings back a lot of memories for me since so many of the dishes are what my mother fixed.

Sea Life Aquarium

This morning Bill, my brother,  and I went down to the new Sea Life Aquarium that opened this month in Kansas City. We were both very disappointed in it. Very expensive for what you got. Plus there was about 3 bus loads of kindergarten school kids there... 8-) It was really hard to get any pictures but this one is a jelly fish.
Then we spent the afternoon on the cookbook, talking to Vida about how she learned to cook, writing down more recipes, what it's like cooking for 10 men from a threshing crew, etc. Tonight we are having a dinner that I grew up on - pinto beans and ham, fried new potatoes, wilted lettuce and cornbread.  My doctor would have a fit! Yummy....it smells so good!

4 Months

Hard to believe it's been 4 months today since Larry left us. In some ways it seem like it has been much longer than that..... Time does have a way of going on and life does get a little easier with time but it sure isn't easy and is still very painful.  I just keep plugging along One Day At A Time...    "RIP Sweetheart". 

Snowball Bush and all that greenery.....

 

This is a snow ball bush in the neighbor's yard. The larger "snowball flower" is made up of many, many tiny blooms. My mother had on of these when I was a kid and I haven't seen one in years. I admit it, I absolutely love all the greenery back here which is the same as was in Little Rock.  All the lush green grass, real trees - not palm trees - abundant flowers, etc. Plus, I can breath and my allergies are almost all gone.  Below is a picture of my brother and sister-in-law's back yard with all that greenery.  They have a heated/air-conditioned sunroom that I absolutely love.

Family cookbook

My sister-in-law cooks like my mother did and I love it. The kids, grandkids and great-grand kids have been after her to write her recipes down for years. So....as part of my genealogy work, I'm going to take on the task of getting the recipes on paper. Today we spent a lot of time working on the recipes. She would talk her way through cooking something and I would write it down. It was interesting when she would say "and then you add some salt" and I would say "how much salt"? Here desert recipes are already written down but it's the other things we are working on such as wilted lettuce, skillet green beans, oven baked pork chops, cooked cabbage with her special ingredients, etc. I got hungry just writing them down... And then there was trying to get a recipe for 2-4 people when she usually cooks these foods for 15-25 people at the Sunday dinners. Should be an interesting project. Think how much fun I will have trying out the recipes...

Welcome to the Midwest

After hearing the weather forecast for back here in the midwest, I was not looking forward to flying into it. However, piece of cake - kinda.... It was raining in Tucson the morning and was fairly bumpy during take off. It was even more bumpy landing in Albuquerque. Leave Albuquerque was REALLY bouncy so I'm thing "here we go....". It was smooth after we got up to cruising and the pilot finally came over the sound system saying "we have passed over the storms and are only about 30 minutes from Kansas City". What a relief! So...I get off the plane, walk out into the airport and this is the sign I saw pointing down some stairs... Not what you usually see in an airport!
It is good to get back to the family but am really missing Larry. It was less than 2 years when we were back here on our Midwest driving trip and it was such a fun trip. Another day of emotions being just below the surface and not always staying there. I know that everyone says it will get better and I sure wish it would.... But all I can do is One Day At A Time.

Unexpected...

It didn't bother me too much when I was getting ready for the trip to the coast a couple of weeks ago. So....I didn't expect any problems getting ready for the trip to KC. Wrong! It was tough the last couple of days - especially today. Larry and I had packing down to a science. We had list of what to do starting a week before leaving and a list of stuff to pack. Usually by noon on the day before we were to leave, we were done and the car was loaded. This time, I didn't start packing until around 3 p.m. Tears were near the surface all day and I kept remembering the good times we had getting ready for trips and then the trips themselves. To us, getting ready for the trip was full of anticipation and part of the fun. It didn't help that I had to do everything myself where in the past, he had his list and I had my list of things to do. Of course, I also have the guilt of leaving Morris by himself although he will have lots of company but still....... But life goes on and I keep taking it One Day At a Time...

This 'n That on Easter Sunday

Today is Easter Sunday and I'm still not used to the "firsts" after you loose someone. I certainly didn't expect Easter to be a "first" and for me to be kinda down. Larry and I never did anything for Easter, not even going out for brunch. However, I realized yesterday that the problem is that he isn't here this year for us to talk about the holiday and decided together not to do anything. It's missing the companionship and communication exchanges. But, I am going out to brunch today with friends so will get out of the house and have something to look forward to.
I got the new furniture on Wednesday and love it. It is so nice to be able to set in my own recliner in the evening and have a place for Morris to lay by my legs which is his habit in the evenings. My old one had a space between the chair and foot rest so he couldn't lay there. Me, being the good staff that I am, would set in Larry's chair which Morris likes but is totally uncomfortable for me due to it's size. Morris also like laying on the plush, area rug and rolling around on it.
My best gauge of how I'm doing is going to the support group for spouses who spouse died in hospice. I look at someone who recently lost a spouse and see myself a couple of months ago. Now I'm the one saying "I know how you feel" or I remember me saying the same things. One of the main topics on Friday was "trying to get organized". I was surprised to find out that I'm not the only one who makes endless "To Do Lists" and then doesn't do what's on the list; or has multiple lists in the house and still doesn't look at them; can't believe they are the same person that used to live by their list that was always current and being worked on. It was very reassuring to know I'm not the only one. Interesting enough, most of the ones having the biggest problems with lists were in management and lived with to do list. For the type A people, and I'm one of them, it is really hard to adjust to the changes in us that grief had brought. We are assured that in time we will get back to our old selves. Sure wish that time would hurry up and come... I also want my patience back and to not be so upset when conflict arises.
I'm not sure what the difference is but there is a difference since I got back from my "retreat". Before, I kinda felt in limbo...Larry wasn't here but..... Now, I feel like I'm living alone and that's it. According to the counselor, it a deeper acceptance of what happened....
Next Saturday, I'm heading back to the Midwest to spend 11-12 days with my family and really looking forward to it. Of course, I haven't told Morris yet.... In the meantime, it's One Day At A Time.